“Tell me, how do I save my marriage?” – A common question that gets asked by spouses who are experiencing troubling times with their other half. Feeling like the world is at an end and that there are no more ways to save a marriage, is a common gut wrenching experience that a large proportion of the married adult population is bestowed with.

My advice is simple to grasp, however it’s one of those ‘easier said than done’ moments. I’m not going to say this is one of the best ways to save a marriage, however it is an important one to note. What is it? – Ensure that you keep communicating with each other.

Marriages often break down because of lack of communication. In fact many relationships slowly fade away over the years with neither spouse making any effort to communicate with each other. Without someone to initiate any sort of communication the marriage breaks down without even a fight.

Some may think that talking or even communicating with their spouse spells trouble, especially when they’re feeling particularly hot-headed. Maybe other ways to save a marriage should be considered you might be thinking.

It’s often difficult to keep your cool and settle differences when you and your spouse are feeling anything but calm and collected. A screaming match often ensues when neither spouse is willing to back down and communicate in a civil manner. Like kerosene on an open flame, things can often get pretty explosive. Inevitably we say things to each other which are down right uncalled for and only do further damage to the relationship.

If you really can’t keep your cool, I suggest you step back and walk away. Don’t walk into a gas station with a blowtorch – someone will get burnt. When you’re emotions are running wild, you are not thinking rationally. Going in guns blazing will only result in regret.

The idea is to talk and not scream. Think before you speak. Voicing your opinions is perfectly fine provided they are not insults or intentionally antagonizing. Keeping calm and listening to what your spouse has to say is important for effective communication. If you can sense that you are raising your voice – take a breather and slow down, be sure to keep things civil and don’t raise your voice.

It’s not easy to keep your cool when your spouse is pushing for a heated fight. But don’t give in, stay in control of your emotions and keep talking in a calm manner. Chances are your spouse will eventually mirror your demeanor, if you keep it up.

If you’re wondering “How do I save my marriage when my other half won’t calm down?” I feel for you. It’s difficult when you’re the only one doing their best to remain cool and trying to dampen the fire, rather than fueling it. But look at this way, if you’re not fueling the fire – it’s a good start! As I said, in comparison to other ways to save a marriage, this may not be the best, but it’s sure an important one to consider.