Does she care about the relationship to let go of anyone who threatens it? Or does she enjoy the high she gets from external validation more? If the answer is yes that she does want to protect the relationship then the male friend needs to go.

Before you even bring this up check to make sure it’s not your own paranoia that is running the show. Does he make inappropriate compliments? Text or call her more than a friend should? Give her hugs that last a little too long?

Most women aren’t used to dating guys with integrity and character. They are used to holding onto to male friends who over step their boundaries and having their boyfriends not say a word about it. She might be upset when you bring this up and try and turn it around on you. Don’t listen to any of the arguments and keep your ground.

She might repeat that he is just a friend but would you do the same things with a buddy that her male friend is doing with her? No, probably not.

If she absolutely refuses to get rid of him then your answer is clear…No she is not willing to do anything to protect the relationship. At that time you are the one who needs to make a choice and ask yourself “do I really want to be with this person?”

There are also girls who don’t derive all of their self esteem from external validation but still have those irritating male friends. Most of the time the girls have just brushed it off and made excuses for their friends behaviors. In this case it will be easy for her to let go of them. All you need to do is talk to her about it and have her become aware of what’s going on and the problem will be solved.

It is more than ok to have friends within a relationship but they need to be friends both of you can trust. They need to be people who completely respect the boundaries of your relationship and who know better than to mess with it. They must be of integrity or they need to go.