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Keeping up your enthusiasm in an unhappy marriage?

A Z asked:


I am in an unhappy marriage-married for 6 years now. Due to various reasons, divorce is not an option especially with a kid and house involved. My wife allows intimacy only once in 6 weeks.

Questions:

How do people who are in unhappy marriages keep up there enthusiasm especially when divorce is not an option ?

What things and activities you do to keep your happiness level high in such a situation ?

My marriage is heading down hill. What can I do to save it. The first thing that has gone is intamacy?

Beautifulme asked:


The whole PROBLEM is based on saying words that hurt one another…….That is it. As simple as it sounds it is tearing us apart. Instead of forgiving and forgetting we always bring up how much we are hurt……We will never get passed this this way. We have 2 children. Ages 1 and 4. This is not fair to them. Or to us. What can we do to save the marriage. We enetered into this thinking we were soulmates. What has happened?

Pre Marriage Counseling

Ken Marlborough asked:




Pre-marriage counseling is a psychological counseling given to prospective wives and husbands before marriage. It plays an important role in building healthy marriages. Many marriage studies and researches have shown that pre-marriage counseling helps reduce the possibility of divorce. Couples who attend pre-marriage counseling classes are able to better overcome challenges and difficulties. Pre-marriage counseling sessions create an awareness of marital issues and problems that might occur in marital relationship. Pre-marriage counseling also assists people in determining if they are fully ready for marriage. Counseling sessions range from two or more meetings to relatively long discussions.

Religious counselors commonly give pre-marriage counseling. Pastoral counselors provide spiritual as well as psychological resources to improve communication among couples. Pastoral pre-marriage counseling programs are designed to assist the couple in building a biblical understanding and foundation for their married life.

Religious institutions, colleges and other educational institutions, non-profit organizations, and professional marriage counselors offer pre-marriage counseling courses. Counseling courses generally cover topics such as identifying strength and growth areas, developing conflict resolution skills, intimacy and sexuality issues, values and beliefs, setting up family goals, personality types, family origin issues, role relationships, communication skills, marriage expectations, children and parenting issues, and, the most important of all, financial issues. In addition to the above, pre-marriage counseling courses share group experiences, and encourage reading and homework activities. These activities help couples build a solid foundation for their life. Pre-marriage counseling programs are also offered online. A number of online pre-marriage counseling programs present a wedding information packet to the couple in the beginning.

Before choosing a pre-marriage counselor, check his certification, educational background, professional associations, and training. Also, check whether he has experience with the job, because that can be an important factor.

Save My Marriage before Infidelity Happens

There are stages along the way to the act of infidelity by a spouse. This article is directed to the husband because so often husbands miss critical signs that could make the act to save my marriage before infidelity happens so much easier. If your wife is in the lead-up stages there are things you can still do to turn your marriage around. This article can show you ways to “save my marriage before infidelity happens”.
Because we men don’t tend to pick up on things until well into the process, there will be a need to get serious about changing the landscape quickly. While you need to very seriously start looking for signs that your mate is unhappy you need to keep in mind that the signs MAY indicate your spouse’s dissatisfaction they may also be symptoms of something else. So don’t be too quick to condemn.
You have a tough job ahead to pick up on the signs that your wife is getting disenchanted with the marriage. If your mate is already cheating on you the chance of being able to “fix my marriage” is not likely very good. With this in mind it this article is going to deal with the earlier stages; the more fixable stages. It is important that, in your mind you are saying “I do want to save my marriage before infidelity happens!”, then you need sharpen your senses and your observational skills. The sooner you get to work on saving your marriage the more likely you will be able to affect change.

My husband moved out and tells me the only way to save our marriage is?

S H asked:


If I allow him to have a girlfriend on the side!

(married since Dec 2008)
He said that if I allow this he will be happy, in turn, I will benefit by the fact that he will treat me better, more loving, etc.
I am NOT into cheating in marriage.
I know I am codependent, but this request is WAY out there!!!

I am 4 months pregnant and he REALLY wants this baby. He cares more about baby than about me.
I have a 5 yr old with me and he has 2 kids that live with their mom (prev marriages)


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